Sunday, June 19
mmm. spent last night and the last hour or so trying to decide which poems to put in my portfolio. came down to 17 from my poetry blog. i've decided not to use any old ones, in accordance with the rules =P and anyway i cringe reading my old stuff.. well now i'm in a real fix. personally i've got 9 that i think are meaningful to me, cos hell, i know why i wrote them, a lot of secrecy, yay i love telling my life story in riddles. but there were a few others that my critics liked. a lot. i gathered a larger pool of critics this time, more to come =D opinions are always good. right now i'm wondering if i should put the poems that matter to me in the portfolio.. or the stuff that others like. i mean, i always write for myself. but sometimes after writing it out of myself, i just stop feeling that way.. which is the idea, i think. so, crowd-pleasers.. or a genuine peek into my current state of mind? i really want this mentorship so i won't feel like i wasted my time, plus i guess it's somehow important to me? like i'm already such a useless fat ugly pieceofshit, if i try for this [and now i'm publicly trying hur hur unlike previously when i deviously handed in my form] and don't get it, then i'll just feel stupid on top of being useless fat and ugly. so, opinions please! crowd-pleasers or not? i don't hate all the crowd-pleasers.. =P or if you need to see the poetry to decide, then i guess i'll be staying online for awhile. or check my poetry blog and then email me =D thank you deeply! =D
it must've been love.
3:22 pm
xoxo
